Asides

discipline, learning

Priming the Pump

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Before we had our son a few years ago I had a simple system for getting work done.  Each night I would put one item on my todo list for the next day, the one task I knew would provide the most leverage over everything else.

The next day I would wake up, get dressed, and immediately start work on that single task.  I would be fully focused – in “flow”, as it’s commonly known – and the work would fly by.

Once I ran out of steam, I would take a break and then do whatever I wanted to do with the rest of my day, including tackling other, less important items on my list.

Now, of course, my priorities have changed.  I wake up in the morning with my son, we get dressed, have breakfast, and goof off a bit before I drive him to school.  After dropping him off, I return home to tackle my one task.

I quickly found, however, that once I was already a few hours into my day it was difficult to hit that one task full force.  It was a struggle, I was distracted, and when the work did finally begin, it was difficult to get in “flow”.

Months went by, and I slowly developed a theory as to why this was happening.

After a few hours of the morning had passed, my brain had already been wandering around a bit, tugging on a few different problems (“How the hell do you get dried bananas unstuck from Legos?”, “Why do I have to ask thirty times before he puts his shoes on?”, etc), and even doing a bit of daydreaming in the car.

By the time I sat down to get my one task for the day done, my mind was already distracted and required quite a bit of settling down before I could dig in.  And during that period I was likely to get further distracted by email, social media, a cool programming problem, working on my crappy-but-improving handstand, or a host of other fun but low-priority business.

The longer I delayed in starting my task, the longer it took and the weaker my focus was when I began.  The result was an enormous amount of time wasted.

With a theory in hand, I decided to start experimenting with ways to get back into “flow” after a morning full of activity.

It’s been several months, and now I’m able to drive home after dropping off my son, walk in the house, and jump into work, fully focused, right away.

The difference?  Priming.

The ride home from my son’s school takes about 15 minutes.  For that 15 minutes I now focus solely on the task on which I’ll be working.  No music, no podcasts, no problem-solving not related to the task, no daydreaming, etc.  I turn the task over in my mind, hitting it from every direction , looking for pitfalls, shortcuts, and alternative solutions.

By the time I get home I can hardly wait to dig in.  It’s been exciting to discover the difference a few minutes of “pre-task mental focus” – priming – can make.

The next step is to start cutting down the “priming” time from 15 minutes, to 10, to 5, etc until I see just how little time I can spend priming for the task and still be able to jump in, fully engaged and ready to rock.  Can I get to a place where I can sit front of my chosen task for 10 seconds, then attack it with focus?  I don’t know, but it’s worth the time and practice to find out.

There are undoubtedly many people out there that can don’t need priming, and can just engage and be in “flow”.  I’m not one of them, and it’s going to require a good deal of work to get there.

The journey continues.

personal development

Build a Bigger Block

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A concrete block is set down in front of you.  Your task is to make it smaller.  What do you do?

Break out a chisel and hammer and start chipping away at it?  Get a rotary sander and try trimming a little bit off at a time?  Start wailing away at it with a sledge?

Or you could build a second, much bigger block right next to it, making the first block appear tiny.

Do the same thing when you compete with others.

Focus on your improvement, your knowledge, and your development.  Make yourself more by making yourself more, not by making others less.

personal development

Did You Choose?

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Have you chosen the lifestyle you’re living?  Or was it handed to you?

Some reasons we endure lifestyles that aren’t our first choice:

  • I’m living the way my parents expected me to
  • Everyone else I know lives the same way, why not me?
  • I don’t have enough money to live the way I want
  • I don’t have enough freedom to live the way I want
  • I have kids, there’s no way I could live the way I want
  • I’m afraid to change things
  • I’ve never considered anything else

How else might you live your life?  What changes could you make?  Why don’t you?

Here’s a hint:  there are people out there living the life of your dreams, and they had the same reasons blocking their way that you do.  They overcame them.

You can overcome yours.

personal development

Your Own Cheering Section

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Imagine you’re a runner.

[I know.  “Running sucks!  Why the hell would I imagine that?  Are you trying to make me throw up?”  Do it anyway.]

So imagine you’re a runner and you’re getting ready for a 10K.  Suppose your personal best at that distance was run at a 7:30 pace.  Now you want to push a 7:15 pace and destroy your previous record.

How do you do that?

Well, if you’ve been training properly, all there’s left to do is run the race.  You’ll need to push your pace more than you ever have before for a little over 6 miles.  You’ll have to find a way to spur yourself on when it gets tough through miles 4 and 5.  You’ll have to be strong, hold on, and not give in to the fatigue and pain.

So imagine you’re doing that.  Sounds tough, right?  But it’s possible.

Now imagine you have some of your closest friends and family right beside you during the race, screaming at you not to slow down, not to stop, not to give in.

Suddenly it seems that much easier to do.  It won’t be any less painful, mind you, and in fact it will likely be more painful, but having a cheering section will drive you more than you’re able to do on your own.

Even if we’re masters of discipline and self-motivation, the very idea of letting someone else down is an incredibly powerful motivator.

So use it.  Have a deadline on a difficult project?  Get a friend to hold you accountable.  Training for a sprint tri?  Grab a few training partners and make sure you have people cheering you on from the sidelines in the late stages of the race?  Writing a screenplay?  Don’t keep it a secret, announce it to some family members you know will get on your ass if you let it slide.

Sure, you might excel at motivating yourself.  But having your own personal cheering section will push you that much further.

entrepreneurship

Ask the Hard Questions

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Entrepreneurs, when was the last time you sat down with one of your employees and asked them:

  • What’s the most significant obstacle to doing your job?
  • Does your job challenge you?
  • What can the company be doing better?
  • What do our customers think of our company/products/services?

It’s easy to avoid these conversations because we know we’ll have to deal with the flaws such questions will expose.  But it’s better to do the hard work of resolving the things that are holding you back than to pretend they aren’t there.

Ask these questions regularly and your business can flourish.  Don’t and it will languish.

discipline, personal development

Retraining the Craving

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The list of things that you don’t have – a jet ski, a new car, a Tiffany’s diamond, a beach house, those cute red Jimmy Choo’s – is infinite.  Acquiring something new is only satisfying for a short time, then you go right back to coveting something else in the endless universe of buyable things.

Craving things we don’t have is a nonstarter.  There’s no end and no satisfaction.

Learning how to be happy with what you have, however, can provide limitless reward.

Yearning for stuff is natural.  Learning how to appreciate what you have may not be, but it’s worth digging into.

Uncategorized

Brussels, Istanbul, Ankara…

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At least 31 people were killed by the bombings in Brussels today.

I’m deeply saddened by the recent violence in Turkey, Chad, Brussels, Paris, Niger, here at home, and in other countries.  It’s crushing every time I’m reminded that there are individuals out there so vicious that they can willingly murder dozens of people they don’t even know.

It’s easy to get sucked into a spiral of sorrow, frustration, and anger.

What saves me every time, however, is the realization that there are tens of millions, hundreds of millions, even billions of others in every country around the world that aren’t that way.  We are a people who care about our neighbors, love our kids, don’t hesitate to help a stranger in need, and are happy to let others live their lives even if their ideas don’t agree with ours.

We are not like them.  They are small in number, and desperate.  We are everywhere, and we are strong.

Yes, they will strike out at us from time to time, and we will suffer painful losses.

But even though it’s tempting to give in to anger and frustration, our best weapon against their small number is to remain ourselves.

This is our world.  Let’s keep it that way by continuing to be generous, and good to, and tolerant of each other.

 

discipline, personal development

Be a Quitter

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“Never quit.”

We’ve all heard it before.  It can be inspiring, particularly when paired with an athletic logo and a picture of some chiseled guy or girl sweating their ass off.

But “Never quit” is a blunt instrument.  You can do better.

There are times when quitting is obviously the right thing to do.  Quitting an unhealthy habit like smoking or lying down in traffic is a good idea.  Quitting a lousy book is an easy call.  Quitting one job when you have a better one lined up is also a straightforward decision, particularly when your current boss is a Homeric-poem-sized jackass.

There are other situations, however, in which you may find yourself wanting to quit but you’re unsure whether it’s the right thing to do.

For example, you’re hammering away at a business idea but you’re having a hard time finding customers.  Do you quit?

You went to medical school because you wanted to be a physician, but now you’re having second thoughts.  Do you quit?

To navigate these more difficult situations, try using this rule:

If the value of doing something else is greater than the value of continuing on your current path, then quit.

Note that we don’t say “If the value of quitting is greater than the value of continuing…”  When you’re deep in the struggle, quitting and doing nothing almost always looks better than pressing on.  But rarely is it worth quitting to just vegetate.

[This, by the way, is what most people mean when they say “Never Quit”:  don’t quit something to which you’ve committed yourself in order to simply not struggle with it any more.]

If you’re battling with something and you suddenly find yourself wanting to quit, try stepping out of the discomfort for a moment and asking a few questions:

Is this experience helping me to grow, or am I otherwise getting value out of it in spite of the pain?

If the answer to the first question is “No”, what has to change in order for me to start getting value out of it?

If the answer to the previous question is “I have no idea”, who can I talk to to help me get some answers?

The answers to the above questions will give you an idea of the value of your current situation, which you can then compare that to the value of doing something else.

Be warned, however:  when comparing the two, the pain you’re going through will tend to inflate the value of doing something (anything!) else, or to put it more simply, the grass is definitely going to seem greener on the other side.

Saying “Never quit” is sexy and, in most cases, good advice.  There are some situations, however, in which it’s a good idea to move on.

Learning how to identify those situations is key to continuing your growth and improving your quality of life.

learning, personal development

Do You Know Jack?

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Yes, there are a few things that you know for sure.

Most things. though, you don’t know jack shit about, even if you think you do.  It’s all too human to pretend to know something even when you don’t.

What would happen if you decided that you didn’t know, even if you thought you did?  

Not only that, but what would happen if you happily announced your lack of knowledge?

Might a wall come down?

Might you learn something new?

Might you become something new?

discipline

The Sun’s Gonna Shine Again

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Some days things get so bleak that it seems like life is going to suck forever.  The darkness can weigh heavy on you, crushing any will you have to get up and fight.

No matter how bad things get, remember:

The sun is going to shine again.  

Life will get better. You will smile again.  Things can get really ugly sometimes – downright nasty – but you’ll come out the other side, thrilled to have made it through.

As the saying goes, “If you’re going through hell, just keep going.”