I’m writing this sitting in our living room in Chiang Mai, looking out our balcony doors over the city. Juliann is out getting some last minute Christmas shopping done, and Braeden is at the kitchen table working on a YouTube drawing lesson, his brow furrowed, his treasured Lightning McQueen pencil gripped in his little fingers, and the tip of his tongue poking out in his usual adorable look of concentration.
We’re enjoying Thailand very much.
Nearly six months ago when we left the States, our first destination, France, wasn’t that intimidating. I was familiar with the language, I’d been there before, and hell, it was Europe. How scary could Europe be?
We weren’t concerned at all about Mauritius because we’ve spent a lot of time on tropical islands, so we figured the culture would be similar. Plus, RUM!
Dubai – well, we were only planning on spending a week there, and it looked to us pretty much like Vegas with funny headgear, so Dubai seemed like a fun stop. Sure, we joked afterwards that the near-total-absence of liquor was horrifying, but it we weren’t intimidated.
Southeast Asia was different. I had never been, and we knew it was a culture, a language, and an experience far, far from anything we had ever experienced before. So I was a little nervous about Thailand, and Juliann was, to lightly understate it, nervous as f**k.
Would we be completely overwhelmed? Would we be able to understand anything or anyone? How would we catch a cab? Would we be able to eat anything at all?
Would they all laugh and point at us, then kick us out of their country?
Much to our delight we flew Emirates again, this time from Dubai to Bangkok.
[Have we mentioned that we love Emirates?
Hey, Emirates, we’re available for sponsorship if you’re interested. Our kid would look really cute in an Emirates jersey and my wife would look smoking hot in one of the crazy hats your flight attendants wear. Hell, I would look hot in that thing.
Think about it and have your people call my people. We’ll be waiting.]
On our first flight on Emirates to Dubai Braeden received a gift bag with a lunch box and some toys in it. He dragged that lunch box everywhere in Dubai, even when there was no goddamned need to do so.
No, buddy, I don’t think you’ll need your crayons in the elevator to the top of the Burj. No, I don’t think the elevator guy will want a drawing of Snoopy. No, they’re not going to want you to decorate the top of the Burj with your red crayon.
Fine, bring it. This? This is Daddy’s flask. He carries it everywhere you’re going to carry that lunch box.
On our flight to Bangkok Braeden got a stuffed Emirates koala bear that unzipped and had a blanket inside. The boy promptly fell in love, named the bear “Cuckoo”, and snuggled up with him to watch Cars for a third time on the seatback entertainment system.
We arrived in Bangkok around 6pm local time, were ushered quickly through Customs and Immigration (Braeden gets really excited when we get new stamps in our passports, J and I just get excited when they allow us into their country), grabbed our bags at the carousel, and went to meet our ground transport.
Our hosts, Pat and Boon, had arranged for a taxi to meet us at the airport, so we went looking for someone holding a sign with our name on it. Which anywhere else should have been easy.
Not so fast. This is Bangkok we’re talking about. Instead of the usual dozen or so drivers holding signs at the exit, there were hundreds of signs slapped up everywhere in “booths”, with one very harried-looking dude yelling out names, pointing at travelers, and hollering Thai into a walkie-talkie.
We pulled to the side, parked our stuff, and Juliann went hunting for our name. She found it, spoke with the person in charge, and we waited for a few minutes until our driver came.
The ride into Bangkok took about 40 minutes, during which we got to observe the bustle of the city from the highway and a feature of Thailand with which we would quickly become familiar: traffic.
Massive amounts of traffic, with drivers suspending all respect for any lines painted on the pavement and cramming their vehicles into every possible inch of the highway.
There was no honking, no anger, no flying fingers. Nope, just a patient respect for the traffic jam and the understanding that it would be over eventually.
As a longtime Masshole and New York driver I was amazed at how aggressively the Thais drove, paradoxically without middle fingers or f-words.
It confounded all laws of the universe.
We arrived at our building and checked into the apartment. Then we paid our driver, unpacked, and headed out into the muggy night in search of food. We found an excellent restaurant, Baan Kanitha, right down the block from our place where we filled ourselves with Thai food, then walked back to our apartment and crashed for the night.
After our 2nd day in Bangkok, Juliann looked at me and said, “I love this place.”
It was a huge relief to hear her say that because originally she didn’t want to visit Bangkok at all, and I insisted that we should check it out for at least a week.
Being wrong about something is one thing, but making a decision against your spouse’s wishes and then being wrong…well, Dante didn’t come up with a Circle of Hell for that one.
So we liked Bangkok a lot. It was loud, polluted, busy, and confusing, but we took to it right away. It reminded me of so many cities in the U.S. we’ve visited or lived in: the neighborhoods each had their own flavor and there were so many hidden places to explore, albeit with their own Southeast Asian flavor.
The Thai people, however, are in a class all their own.
If one were mean-spirited enough one could probably make a reality miniseries investigating just how dickish you could be to the average Thai on the street before they finally stopped being warm and friendly.
The Thais are wonderful people. They are willing and eager to help in any situation, no matter how stupid the circumstances you’ve gotten yourself into or how many thousands of times they’ve seen other Western tourists do the same completely idiotic thing. They are warm, kind, helpful, and good-humored.
And they love Braeden here. They high-five him walking down the street. They smile at him, say “hi”, stop and try to chat with him. Not that he’s always in the mood to cooperate, of course, but they just seem happy to engage with a little boy, and even when he’s acting up they love him.
We were so utterly smoked from our sightseeing blitz in Dubai that we spent most of our time in Bangkok relaxing by the pool or eating out, the latter of which we did nearly every night.
Most nights in our 5-plus-months of travel we’ve cooked at home, and we’ve loved it. Eating out is great, but most days I would rather insert rusty bicycle spokes into my urethra than sit in a restaurant for an hour with a rambunctious 4-year-old.
But when we got to Bangkok we found that meals were so cheap and the food so good that we sucked it up. We only bought one night’s worth of groceries and we ate out whenever we felt the urge, which was just about every night. Occasionally I would pray for my bicycle spokes, but most of the time it was well worth it.
The local food, both in restaurants and on the street, was mind-blowingly good, and international food (Italian, Mexican, pub food, etc) was also surprisingly good, so we partook liberally and loved it.
After 2 or 3 days of catching up on rest and wandering around Bangkok a bit we decided to book some spots on the highly recommended Follow Me Bike Tour. We were only going to be in Bangkok for a week and we wanted to be sure we got to see some sights before we headed north to Chiang Mai.
Follow Me was just a few minutes’ walk from our apartment in Silom and we managed to find it pretty easily. We checked in, and while we waited for our briefing to start we stuck our feet in the Fish Foot Spa the owners of Follow Me had enigmatically decided to stick right in the middle of their reception area.
A Fish Foot Spa, for those of you who have never heard of such a thing, is a giant fish tank filled with tiny little fish into which you stick your feet. The fish then swarm all over your tootsies, nibbling off the dead skin.
Yes, I know. Damn those lucky fish.
If you’ve seen our Instagram account (@nathanblew, what, you’re not following?!? That’s it, you just made the list) you’ve seen video of me screaming like a small child while the fish attacked my feet. I lasted about two minutes, then I dried off my feet and checked another item off my bucket list.
Our guide Teddy briefed us, got us set up on our bikes, and we were on our way. This time instead of a little pull-behind chariot Braeden got to ride in the big-boy seat directly behind me. Which was perfect for him because he was just close enough to reach out and give me wedgies at inopportune times, like when were about to get mowed down by a large diesel truck carrying a load of scrawny chickens.
We turned out of the alleyway from Follow Me, took a few turns on some larger streets, and then suddenly veered into a tiny lane that looked more like a footpath. We pedaled down the dusty little path, passing open doorways, hanging birdcages, piles of laundry, heaps of scrap metal, and friendly Thais waving and murmuring greetings.
Teddy guided us through turn after turn until my sense of direction was hopelessly overcome. Soon we emerged from the alley right in front of a beautiful wat (Thai temple), and we stopped for pictures. We re-mounted and pedaled on.
We went to the Chao Phraya River, where we stood and watched the boat traffic go by. We visited the stunning Wat Prayaurawongsawas, watched the sun set, and checked out the inside of the stupa. We toured the Bangkok Flower Market and Teddy treated us to fresh pineapple and sweet noodles from the street vendors.
After dark, we steered our bikes onto a ferry and hitched a ride back across the Chao Phraya, taking in the brilliant twinkling lights of Bangkok as we pushed across the river. Juliann and I sat together and watched Braeden, who was a few rows away on the rail, as he placidly took in the Bangkok skyline at night.
We returned to Follow Me, dismounted, and thanked Teddy for the wonderful tour. Exhausted, happy, and still buzzing from all that we’d seen, we walked back along the busy streets to our apartment where we ate, showered up, and snuggled up in our beds for a good night’s rest.
Near the end of our weeklong visit we also managed to get in a trip to the Immigration Office to extend our stay in Thailand for an additional 30 days. It was a more pleasant experience than the DMV at home in the States, and we were in and out in about an hour.
Before we knew it a week had passed and it was time to pack up and say goodbye. Our flight north to Chiang Mai was only going to be an hour, and we would still be in Thailand for at least another 5 weeks, but we were sorry to leave.
We unexpectedly fell in love with Bangkok, one of the more enigmatic cities we’ve ever been to, and I have a feeling we’ll be visiting again someday. And we all managed to escape without getting a face tattoo or losing a finger.
Next up: Chiang Mai!