Category Archives: personal development

The Art of Mountain-Moving

What kind of commitment is required to move a mountain?

Let’s take Joe.  He’s committed to moving the sucker, so he wakes up, checks his email, rolls up his sleeves, moves a few rocks, hops online to check the news, moves a few more rocks, has lunch and reads a couple of articles on solar power and politics while he eats, moves a few more rocks, heads to his 5:30 cooking class, etc…..

Then there’s Joanne.  She wakes up and attacks the mountain.  She moves rocks until she has to stop for lunch.  While she’s eating she runs through the move in her head, playing out all the possible problems she might encounter and sketching out solutions.  After her meal she gets right back to moving the rocks and doesn’t stop until well after dark.  At dinner she opens her laptop and reads up on the latest rock-moving technology, takes some notes for the next day, then collapses into bed.

Who are you going to put your money on?

Joanne’s focus is going to get her to the finish line first.  Her social life is going to suck and she’s not going to be very well-versed on anything other than mountain-moving, but she will reach her goal long before Joe does, if he even gets there at all.

To do something big and audacious you must focus on that thing and nothing else.  Every day, every thought must be about your task.  No hobbies, no outside entertainment, nothing.  Distractions will slow you down.

If you’re shaking your head and thinking, “That’s a crappy way to live life,” you’re right.  No one can be happy living that way their entire life.

But it’s certainly something you can do for a couple of weeks.  Or months.  Or a year.

How long can you work on your goal as if nothing else exists?  How long can you shut out distractions and keep plunging ahead like your hair is on fire?

Then take a break, take some time to appreciate your accomplishment or evaluate your failure for future success, and begin again.

Time is short.  What will you use it for?

There Are Worse Things Than Pain

Sometimes pain isn’t the worst thing you can endure.

It can be worse – much worse – to sit around wondering if you could have done something special if you’d only pushed through the pain.

Pain is discomfort.  Regret, on the other hand, is an ever-present agony that takes a long, long time to go away.

Register the pain for what it is and drive out regret.

Follow the Rabbit

When toddlers want to do something they don’t worry about what someone else thinks, or whether the outcome is worthwhile, or whether it even makes sense.

Something tickles their curiosity and they do it.  Something looks fun and they do it.

Follow the rabbit where it goes.  See what happens.

The Agony of Defeat

Let’s talk about disappointment.  Not the kind you experience when you’re late to the movie theater and find you’re going to be stuck in the very front row feeling like an open PEZ dispenser.

The other kind.

The kind of disappointment that is so crushing that it forces you to reevaluate everything you think you know about your life.  The kind of disappointment that makes you want to quit.

Einstein was disappointed after realizing his first few proofs of E=MC2 were garbage.

Sara Blakely, the billionaire founder of Spanx, was once an aspiring law student until she failed the LSAT.

Michael Jordan was so devastated when he didn’t make the cut for his high school varsity team that he shut himself in his room and cried.

Edison must have experienced terrible disappointment multiple times while he was failing his way through 1,000+ filament materials for his new electric light.

In 2011, Venus Williams was knocked out of competition and down to 105th in the world after a bout with Sjogren’s Syndrome.

The list is endless.  All of the people above could have ended their stories by quitting after their first bruising bout with disappointment.

But they didn’t.  They used the bitter taste of it to drive them through one failure after another until they succeeded.

Disappointed?  Good.  Now get back up and get moving.  Your story isn’t over yet.

The Right Kind of Pressure

In the vacuum of our solitary lives, when faced with an extremely difficult or scary task we usually quit partway through or don’t even bother starting.

Diets are abandoned.  Gym memberships go unused.  Projects languish.

The dropout rate for online classes is around 96%.  That’s not a typo.  Only 4% of people who start an online course from their cozy, quiet living room go on to complete the course.

However, that changes when everyone’s watching you.  It’s much harder to quit.  Social pressure can be powerful fuel for surmounting the difficult and scary.

So use it to your advantage.  Commit publicly to a new task or goal and be sure that friends and family who will keep you accountable know about it.

Give a friend $100 and tell her she can keep it if you don’t drop 5% of your body fat in eight weeks.

Announce a new project on your favorite social network and give your friends permission to get on your case if you don’t post weekly updates.

If you’re unable to finish difficult things, perhaps the pressure you put on yourself isn’t enough.  The pressure your networks can put on you may be just the thing.

Blackout

I used to sleep in a room with a skylight.  The natural light was wonderful and it was always nice to have a view of the sky, but being unable to keep the room dark for sleeping was a bit of a drag.

The quality of my sleep was just a bit better in hotel rooms, which tended to have blackout shades.  Sleeping in an utterly dark room until you wake up on your own is a little bit of heaven.

Blackout shades – or the metaphor, anyway – are also incredibly useful against those people in your life who drag you down.

If you’re around someone that is constantly criticizing or complaining and you can’t simply walk away, pull the shades on them.  Shut them out and shut them down.

How to Do Amazing Things

The gap between you and The People Who Do Amazing Things may not be as wide as you think.

Sure, there are people out there that are way smarter, fitter, richer, etc than the rest of us.  But they are a tiny minority.  And many of them accomplish nothing.

For the vast majority of people that accomplish enviable things there is just one major difference between them and you.

They believe.

Your beliefs limit your capabilities.  If you don’t believe something is possible you probably won’t even try it, let alone succeed at it.

Belief will carry you past pain, adversity, negativity, and failure.  Find a way to believe and the Vegas line on your chances of success just shot through the roof.

The Confidence Game

Where does confidence come from?

You know, that annoying-as-hell guy or girl that seems to be able to walk into any situation with swagger, with a “Hey, I got this” attitude, brimming with self-assurance.

You might think for a bit and exclaim, “I know!  The more competent you are, the more confident you are!”

And you would be right.  But not in the way you might think.

Sure, if you’re a proficient negotiator walking into a negotiation you’re going to feel like Celine Dion auditioning for “American Idol”.  You won’t even break a sweat.

But it’s possible to be confident tackling something you’ve never done before.

How?

By being competent in handling failure.  If you can walk into a situation believing that you’ll do your best and, if your best isn’t good enough, that you’ll recover the better for it, you’ll be confident under just about any circumstances.

So get to it.  Take on those scary tasks, because even if you fail, you’re going to grow.

You won’t be afraid of falling down if you know you can easily get back up.

Feed Your Brain

The last time you stood in line at the grocery store checkout, did you struggle to avoid reading the headlines of the various trashy magazines racked in front of you?  If you haven’t noticed how difficult it is, give it a try the next time you’re in the store.

It’s the same with billboards on the side of the road, or advertisements on a city bus or taxi.

Humans (at least those that are literate) are drawn to reading stuff.  Why?

It turns out our brains are voracious learning machines.  They have evolved to consume and process information, and when it’s offered the brain will gobble it up like a greedy kid stuffing his face with candy after a successful trick-or-treating expedition.

That’s why it’s so difficult to resist reading all those tabloid headlines:  our brain is itching to learn more about why Brad and Angelina are choosing family over fame, and what went on inside Beyonce’s wedding.

[Well, that and the fact that our brains love stories, but that’s a tale for another time.]

Marketers know this and exploit it.  Take a spin through any city or mid-sized town and you’ll be barraged with words, images, and symbols designed for the dual purpose of:

  1. Satisfying your brain’s craving for more information, and
  2. Getting you to buy endless quantities of stuff

But there’s no reason why you can’t exploit it as well.

Social media is addictive for the very same reason.  Your brain loves to chow down for countless hours on pictures, stories, and memes about your friends, friends of friends, and people you don’t even know.  It’s all new information, and your brain luuurves new information.

It’s not terribly useful information, of course, and in that way social media is more like M&M’s for the brain than it is protein and veggies.

So provide your mind with a little discipline.  When you find yourself craving some Facebook or Instagram, instead try consuming something both new and useful.

A few M&M’s once in awhile won’t kill you.  But filling up on them day after day will leave you restless and unfulfilled.

 

 

Overwhelm the Ugliness

Don’t get discouraged when the world suddenly seems full of ugliness:  evil people, nasty things, and hateful actions.

The news media lives on profit, and the best way to make that profit is to focus on awful, scary, outrageous things.

Ignore them.

The ugliness is a blade of grass bloated to the size of a mountain by people who gain from your fear and outrage.

The world is overflowing with fantastic people, beautiful things, and thoughtful actions.

Let them, and they will overwhelm the ugliness.