Category Archives: discipline
Priming the Pump
Before we had our son a few years ago I had a simple system for getting work done. Each night I would put one item on my todo list for the next day, the one task I knew would provide the most leverage over everything else.
The next day I would wake up, get dressed, and immediately start work on that single task. I would be fully focused – in “flow”, as it’s commonly known – and the work would fly by.
Once I ran out of steam, I would take a break and then do whatever I wanted to do with the rest of my day, including tackling other, less important items on my list.
Now, of course, my priorities have changed. I wake up in the morning with my son, we get dressed, have breakfast, and goof off a bit before I drive him to school. After dropping him off, I return home to tackle my one task.
I quickly found, however, that once I was already a few hours into my day it was difficult to hit that one task full force. It was a struggle, I was distracted, and when the work did finally begin, it was difficult to get in “flow”.
Months went by, and I slowly developed a theory as to why this was happening.
After a few hours of the morning had passed, my brain had already been wandering around a bit, tugging on a few different problems (“How the hell do you get dried bananas unstuck from Legos?”, “Why do I have to ask thirty times before he puts his shoes on?”, etc), and even doing a bit of daydreaming in the car.
By the time I sat down to get my one task for the day done, my mind was already distracted and required quite a bit of settling down before I could dig in. And during that period I was likely to get further distracted by email, social media, a cool programming problem, working on my crappy-but-improving handstand, or a host of other fun but low-priority business.
The longer I delayed in starting my task, the longer it took and the weaker my focus was when I began. The result was an enormous amount of time wasted.
With a theory in hand, I decided to start experimenting with ways to get back into “flow” after a morning full of activity.
It’s been several months, and now I’m able to drive home after dropping off my son, walk in the house, and jump into work, fully focused, right away.
The difference? Priming.
The ride home from my son’s school takes about 15 minutes. For that 15 minutes I now focus solely on the task on which I’ll be working. No music, no podcasts, no problem-solving not related to the task, no daydreaming, etc. I turn the task over in my mind, hitting it from every direction , looking for pitfalls, shortcuts, and alternative solutions.
By the time I get home I can hardly wait to dig in. It’s been exciting to discover the difference a few minutes of “pre-task mental focus” – priming – can make.
The next step is to start cutting down the “priming” time from 15 minutes, to 10, to 5, etc until I see just how little time I can spend priming for the task and still be able to jump in, fully engaged and ready to rock. Can I get to a place where I can sit front of my chosen task for 10 seconds, then attack it with focus? I don’t know, but it’s worth the time and practice to find out.
There are undoubtedly many people out there that can don’t need priming, and can just engage and be in “flow”. I’m not one of them, and it’s going to require a good deal of work to get there.
The journey continues.
Retraining the Craving
The list of things that you don’t have – a jet ski, a new car, a Tiffany’s diamond, a beach house, those cute red Jimmy Choo’s – is infinite. Acquiring something new is only satisfying for a short time, then you go right back to coveting something else in the endless universe of buyable things.
Craving things we don’t have is a nonstarter. There’s no end and no satisfaction.
Learning how to be happy with what you have, however, can provide limitless reward.
Yearning for stuff is natural. Learning how to appreciate what you have may not be, but it’s worth digging into.
Be a Quitter
“Never quit.”
We’ve all heard it before. It can be inspiring, particularly when paired with an athletic logo and a picture of some chiseled guy or girl sweating their ass off.
But “Never quit” is a blunt instrument. You can do better.
There are times when quitting is obviously the right thing to do. Quitting an unhealthy habit like smoking or lying down in traffic is a good idea. Quitting a lousy book is an easy call. Quitting one job when you have a better one lined up is also a straightforward decision, particularly when your current boss is a Homeric-poem-sized jackass.
There are other situations, however, in which you may find yourself wanting to quit but you’re unsure whether it’s the right thing to do.
For example, you’re hammering away at a business idea but you’re having a hard time finding customers. Do you quit?
You went to medical school because you wanted to be a physician, but now you’re having second thoughts. Do you quit?
To navigate these more difficult situations, try using this rule:
If the value of doing something else is greater than the value of continuing on your current path, then quit.
Note that we don’t say “If the value of quitting is greater than the value of continuing…” When you’re deep in the struggle, quitting and doing nothing almost always looks better than pressing on. But rarely is it worth quitting to just vegetate.
[This, by the way, is what most people mean when they say “Never Quit”: don’t quit something to which you’ve committed yourself in order to simply not struggle with it any more.]
If you’re battling with something and you suddenly find yourself wanting to quit, try stepping out of the discomfort for a moment and asking a few questions:
Is this experience helping me to grow, or am I otherwise getting value out of it in spite of the pain?
If the answer to the first question is “No”, what has to change in order for me to start getting value out of it?
If the answer to the previous question is “I have no idea”, who can I talk to to help me get some answers?
The answers to the above questions will give you an idea of the value of your current situation, which you can then compare that to the value of doing something else.
Be warned, however: when comparing the two, the pain you’re going through will tend to inflate the value of doing something (anything!) else, or to put it more simply, the grass is definitely going to seem greener on the other side.
Saying “Never quit” is sexy and, in most cases, good advice. There are some situations, however, in which it’s a good idea to move on.
Learning how to identify those situations is key to continuing your growth and improving your quality of life.
The Sun’s Gonna Shine Again
Some days things get so bleak that it seems like life is going to suck forever. The darkness can weigh heavy on you, crushing any will you have to get up and fight.
No matter how bad things get, remember:
The sun is going to shine again.
Life will get better. You will smile again. Things can get really ugly sometimes – downright nasty – but you’ll come out the other side, thrilled to have made it through.
As the saying goes, “If you’re going through hell, just keep going.”
Gimme an ‘E’
When you’re working on your life, how much time do you spend looking ahead? How much time organizing and planning? How much actually doing the nitty-gritty work?
In his book The E-Myth Revisited, Michael Gerber describes the three “personalities” he believes necessary in every business: the Entrepreneur, the Manager, and the Technician.
Entrepreneur – focused on the future, develops a vision for the company
Manager – the organizer and planner, translates the entrepreneur’s strategic vision into tactical work for the technician
Technician – performs the actual work required to run the company
Gerber then goes on to argue that anyone starting their own business must regularly switch roles in order to keep driving it forward.
This is a also an important framework for working on your life.
Do you spend most days head-down, grinding out the work, rarely planning or even looking up to see where you’re going?
Are you constantly making plans, scheduling, and organizing, but getting very little actual work done?
Do you pass most days with your head in the clouds, dreaming of your future, but with no real path to get there?
Are you some combination of of the above?
If so, get back on track by forcing yourself to spend time doing each on a regular basis.
Take time each month to focus on your vision for yourself: what are your goals? What do you want your future to be?
Time should be devoted each week to translating that vision into scheduled, organized work. You have a vision, now how do you get there? What is the timeline? What are the steps you need to take and the milestones you need to hit?
Finally, there’s the actual work, which should be done just about every day.
Dive into the work, come up frequently to make sure you’re on schedule and doing what you should, and take some time regularly to work on your vision.
Be the Entrepreneur, the Manager, and the Technician.
Going Deep
What is a “Deep Dive”? You’ve probably heard the term before, but what exactly does it mean?
It means doing something that very few people can. It means spending (depending on the complexity of the subject) hours, weeks, months, or even years exploring something very specific.
And we’re not talking about reading. Reading is useful but it can easily become a crutch. In order to truly learn you have to execute.
The Deep Dive is difficult. Most people start digging into a subject, hit some rocks right away, and quit. Do this for a handful of subjects and you’ll be like most people: a source of “mile wide, inch deep” knowledge.
The opposite, “inch wide, mile deep” knowledge, is well worth the work. It’s rare and extremely valuable. In many cases you can contribute something entirely new to a field, which is incredibly rewarding. And the process changes you, endowing you with patience, discipline, analytical skills, and confidence that most people lack.
It’s tough to dig deeper. And in many cases, it seems like an inch deep truly is the bottom.
But it isn’t. If you sit in front of a seemingly impenetrable wall long enough, fissures will eventually begin to appear. After hours, days, or weeks of probing, you will find a way through where others could not.
So the next time you tackle a subject or a problem, work on it until you think you can go no further. Then continue to hammer away at it, breaking down its resistance until it gives up its secrets.
Don’t stop until it does.