All posts by Nathan

Brussels, Istanbul, Ankara…

At least 31 people were killed by the bombings in Brussels today.

I’m deeply saddened by the recent violence in Turkey, Chad, Brussels, Paris, Niger, here at home, and in other countries.  It’s crushing every time I’m reminded that there are individuals out there so vicious that they can willingly murder dozens of people they don’t even know.

It’s easy to get sucked into a spiral of sorrow, frustration, and anger.

What saves me every time, however, is the realization that there are tens of millions, hundreds of millions, even billions of others in every country around the world that aren’t that way.  We are a people who care about our neighbors, love our kids, don’t hesitate to help a stranger in need, and are happy to let others live their lives even if their ideas don’t agree with ours.

We are not like them.  They are small in number, and desperate.  We are everywhere, and we are strong.

Yes, they will strike out at us from time to time, and we will suffer painful losses.

But even though it’s tempting to give in to anger and frustration, our best weapon against their small number is to remain ourselves.

This is our world.  Let’s keep it that way by continuing to be generous, and good to, and tolerant of each other.

 

Be a Quitter

“Never quit.”

We’ve all heard it before.  It can be inspiring, particularly when paired with an athletic logo and a picture of some chiseled guy or girl sweating their ass off.

But “Never quit” is a blunt instrument.  You can do better.

There are times when quitting is obviously the right thing to do.  Quitting an unhealthy habit like smoking or lying down in traffic is a good idea.  Quitting a lousy book is an easy call.  Quitting one job when you have a better one lined up is also a straightforward decision, particularly when your current boss is a Homeric-poem-sized jackass.

There are other situations, however, in which you may find yourself wanting to quit but you’re unsure whether it’s the right thing to do.

For example, you’re hammering away at a business idea but you’re having a hard time finding customers.  Do you quit?

You went to medical school because you wanted to be a physician, but now you’re having second thoughts.  Do you quit?

To navigate these more difficult situations, try using this rule:

If the value of doing something else is greater than the value of continuing on your current path, then quit.

Note that we don’t say “If the value of quitting is greater than the value of continuing…”  When you’re deep in the struggle, quitting and doing nothing almost always looks better than pressing on.  But rarely is it worth quitting to just vegetate.

[This, by the way, is what most people mean when they say “Never Quit”:  don’t quit something to which you’ve committed yourself in order to simply not struggle with it any more.]

If you’re battling with something and you suddenly find yourself wanting to quit, try stepping out of the discomfort for a moment and asking a few questions:

Is this experience helping me to grow, or am I otherwise getting value out of it in spite of the pain?

If the answer to the first question is “No”, what has to change in order for me to start getting value out of it?

If the answer to the previous question is “I have no idea”, who can I talk to to help me get some answers?

The answers to the above questions will give you an idea of the value of your current situation, which you can then compare that to the value of doing something else.

Be warned, however:  when comparing the two, the pain you’re going through will tend to inflate the value of doing something (anything!) else, or to put it more simply, the grass is definitely going to seem greener on the other side.

Saying “Never quit” is sexy and, in most cases, good advice.  There are some situations, however, in which it’s a good idea to move on.

Learning how to identify those situations is key to continuing your growth and improving your quality of life.

Do You Know Jack?

Yes, there are a few things that you know for sure.

Most things. though, you don’t know jack shit about, even if you think you do.  It’s all too human to pretend to know something even when you don’t.

What would happen if you decided that you didn’t know, even if you thought you did?  

Not only that, but what would happen if you happily announced your lack of knowledge?

Might a wall come down?

Might you learn something new?

Might you become something new?

The Sun’s Gonna Shine Again

Some days things get so bleak that it seems like life is going to suck forever.  The darkness can weigh heavy on you, crushing any will you have to get up and fight.

No matter how bad things get, remember:

The sun is going to shine again.  

Life will get better. You will smile again.  Things can get really ugly sometimes – downright nasty – but you’ll come out the other side, thrilled to have made it through.

As the saying goes, “If you’re going through hell, just keep going.”

 

Minutes

There are many ways to define wealth.  There are the more traditional definitions having to do with cash flow or net worth.  Some say that your health is the truest measure of wealth, while others claim that the quality of your relationships is a better metric.

There is value in all of these.  But let’s consider something else:

How much of your time do you control?

What good is it to be a deca-millionaire if every minute of your day is held hostage by meetings, phone calls, and people you loathe?

What good are boats, cars, houses, snowmobiles, jet skis, and other toys if managing them is a headache and takes up all your time?

What good is a high-paying, high-powered job if you spend all day joylessly grinding and zero time with your kids?

Your life is measured in minutes, and each one is precious.  It’s not too late to get a handle on them.

Fear and Loathing (and Anxiety, Anger, Shame, …)

Fear and anxiety have their place.  You should feel them, and it’s neither possible nor healthy to try to turn them off.

But they are not you.  They do not make your decisions, decide your performance, or rule your relationships.

They can do those things, of course, if you allow them to.  But doing so will rarely, if ever, benefit you.

So feel your fear.  Acknowledge your anxiety.  Then deal with what’s really going on.

Gimme an ‘E’

When you’re working on your life, how much time do you spend looking ahead?  How much time organizing and planning?  How much actually doing the nitty-gritty work?

In his book The E-Myth Revisited, Michael Gerber describes the three “personalities” he believes necessary in every business:  the Entrepreneur, the Manager, and the Technician.

Entrepreneur – focused on the future, develops a vision for the company

Manager – the organizer and planner, translates the entrepreneur’s strategic vision into tactical work for the technician

Technician – performs the actual work required to run the company

Gerber then goes on to argue that anyone starting their own business must regularly switch roles in order to keep driving it forward.

This is a also an important framework for working on your life.

Do you spend most days head-down, grinding out the work, rarely planning or even looking up to see where you’re going?

Are you constantly making plans, scheduling, and organizing, but getting very little actual work done?

Do you pass most days with your head in the clouds, dreaming of your future, but with no real path to get there?

Are you some combination of of the above?

If so, get back on track by forcing yourself to spend time doing each on a regular basis.

Take time each month to focus on your vision for yourself:  what are your goals?  What do you want your future to be?

Time should be devoted each week to translating that vision into scheduled, organized work.  You have a vision, now how do you get there?  What is the timeline?  What are the steps you need to take and the milestones you need to hit?

Finally, there’s the actual work, which should be done just about every day.

Dive into the work, come up frequently to make sure you’re on schedule and doing what you should, and take some time regularly to work on your vision.

Be the Entrepreneur, the Manager, and the Technician.

Go Pareto On Your Ass

Got 10 minutes?  Good.

Pick one:

A) Of all the things you do every day, what are the 20% that give you the most pleasure?

B) Of all the people with whom you spend time, who are the 20% that are most rewarding to you?

C) Of all the things you do every day, what are the 20% that frustrate or stress you the most?

D) Of all the people with whom you spend time, who are the 20% that drag you down?

Again, pick just one.   Then spend some time creating a list of either all the things you do daily or all the people with whom you spend time.  Finally, go over your list again and circle your 20%.

If you chose (A) or (B), what can you do to get more of the things or people you circled?  If you chose (C) or (D), what can you do to cut down or eliminate those stressors you circled?

Your Circle

The people with whom you surround yourself:

Do they support you?

Do they call you on your bullshit?

Do they challenge you to grow?

Do they make you laugh?

Do you trust them?

Do you learn from them?

Do they inspire you?

Do they make your life better?

If so, great.

If not, why not?  Fix it.

Achieve, Then Appreciate

Achievement is important.  Pushing yourself and others to do more, to be more, is worthwhile.

But don’t forget to take the time to appreciate both yourself and what you’ve accomplished.

Take a breath.  Reward yourself.  Give yourself a pat on the back and your soul a much-deserved hug.  Reflect on what you’ve done and how you got here.

Life is too short to drive all the time.  Pull over and enjoy the view.