All posts by Nathan
Priming the Pump
Before we had our son a few years ago I had a simple system for getting work done. Each night I would put one item on my todo list for the next day, the one task I knew would provide the most leverage over everything else.
The next day I would wake up, get dressed, and immediately start work on that single task. I would be fully focused – in “flow”, as it’s commonly known – and the work would fly by.
Once I ran out of steam, I would take a break and then do whatever I wanted to do with the rest of my day, including tackling other, less important items on my list.
Now, of course, my priorities have changed. I wake up in the morning with my son, we get dressed, have breakfast, and goof off a bit before I drive him to school. After dropping him off, I return home to tackle my one task.
I quickly found, however, that once I was already a few hours into my day it was difficult to hit that one task full force. It was a struggle, I was distracted, and when the work did finally begin, it was difficult to get in “flow”.
Months went by, and I slowly developed a theory as to why this was happening.
After a few hours of the morning had passed, my brain had already been wandering around a bit, tugging on a few different problems (“How the hell do you get dried bananas unstuck from Legos?”, “Why do I have to ask thirty times before he puts his shoes on?”, etc), and even doing a bit of daydreaming in the car.
By the time I sat down to get my one task for the day done, my mind was already distracted and required quite a bit of settling down before I could dig in. And during that period I was likely to get further distracted by email, social media, a cool programming problem, working on my crappy-but-improving handstand, or a host of other fun but low-priority business.
The longer I delayed in starting my task, the longer it took and the weaker my focus was when I began. The result was an enormous amount of time wasted.
With a theory in hand, I decided to start experimenting with ways to get back into “flow” after a morning full of activity.
It’s been several months, and now I’m able to drive home after dropping off my son, walk in the house, and jump into work, fully focused, right away.
The difference? Priming.
The ride home from my son’s school takes about 15 minutes. For that 15 minutes I now focus solely on the task on which I’ll be working. No music, no podcasts, no problem-solving not related to the task, no daydreaming, etc. I turn the task over in my mind, hitting it from every direction , looking for pitfalls, shortcuts, and alternative solutions.
By the time I get home I can hardly wait to dig in. It’s been exciting to discover the difference a few minutes of “pre-task mental focus” – priming – can make.
The next step is to start cutting down the “priming” time from 15 minutes, to 10, to 5, etc until I see just how little time I can spend priming for the task and still be able to jump in, fully engaged and ready to rock. Can I get to a place where I can sit front of my chosen task for 10 seconds, then attack it with focus? I don’t know, but it’s worth the time and practice to find out.
There are undoubtedly many people out there that can don’t need priming, and can just engage and be in “flow”. I’m not one of them, and it’s going to require a good deal of work to get there.
The journey continues.
Build a Bigger Block
A concrete block is set down in front of you. Your task is to make it smaller. What do you do?
Break out a chisel and hammer and start chipping away at it? Get a rotary sander and try trimming a little bit off at a time? Start wailing away at it with a sledge?
Or you could build a second, much bigger block right next to it, making the first block appear tiny.
Do the same thing when you compete with others.
Focus on your improvement, your knowledge, and your development. Make yourself more by making yourself more, not by making others less.
Did You Choose?
Have you chosen the lifestyle you’re living? Or was it handed to you?
Some reasons we endure lifestyles that aren’t our first choice:
- I’m living the way my parents expected me to
- Everyone else I know lives the same way, why not me?
- I don’t have enough money to live the way I want
- I don’t have enough freedom to live the way I want
- I have kids, there’s no way I could live the way I want
- I’m afraid to change things
- I’ve never considered anything else
How else might you live your life? What changes could you make? Why don’t you?
Here’s a hint: there are people out there living the life of your dreams, and they had the same reasons blocking their way that you do. They overcame them.
You can overcome yours.
Your Own Cheering Section
Imagine you’re a runner.
[I know. “Running sucks! Why the hell would I imagine that? Are you trying to make me throw up?” Do it anyway.]
So imagine you’re a runner and you’re getting ready for a 10K. Suppose your personal best at that distance was run at a 7:30 pace. Now you want to push a 7:15 pace and destroy your previous record.
How do you do that?
Well, if you’ve been training properly, all there’s left to do is run the race. You’ll need to push your pace more than you ever have before for a little over 6 miles. You’ll have to find a way to spur yourself on when it gets tough through miles 4 and 5. You’ll have to be strong, hold on, and not give in to the fatigue and pain.
So imagine you’re doing that. Sounds tough, right? But it’s possible.
Now imagine you have some of your closest friends and family right beside you during the race, screaming at you not to slow down, not to stop, not to give in.
Suddenly it seems that much easier to do. It won’t be any less painful, mind you, and in fact it will likely be more painful, but having a cheering section will drive you more than you’re able to do on your own.
Even if we’re masters of discipline and self-motivation, the very idea of letting someone else down is an incredibly powerful motivator.
So use it. Have a deadline on a difficult project? Get a friend to hold you accountable. Training for a sprint tri? Grab a few training partners and make sure you have people cheering you on from the sidelines in the late stages of the race? Writing a screenplay? Don’t keep it a secret, announce it to some family members you know will get on your ass if you let it slide.
Sure, you might excel at motivating yourself. But having your own personal cheering section will push you that much further.
Ask the Hard Questions
Entrepreneurs, when was the last time you sat down with one of your employees and asked them:
- What’s the most significant obstacle to doing your job?
- Does your job challenge you?
- What can the company be doing better?
- What do our customers think of our company/products/services?
It’s easy to avoid these conversations because we know we’ll have to deal with the flaws such questions will expose. But it’s better to do the hard work of resolving the things that are holding you back than to pretend they aren’t there.
Ask these questions regularly and your business can flourish. Don’t and it will languish.
Retraining the Craving
The list of things that you don’t have – a jet ski, a new car, a Tiffany’s diamond, a beach house, those cute red Jimmy Choo’s – is infinite. Acquiring something new is only satisfying for a short time, then you go right back to coveting something else in the endless universe of buyable things.
Craving things we don’t have is a nonstarter. There’s no end and no satisfaction.
Learning how to be happy with what you have, however, can provide limitless reward.
Yearning for stuff is natural. Learning how to appreciate what you have may not be, but it’s worth digging into.