Heavy Traffic in Life’s Slow Lane: Hoi An

The quaint little town of Hoi An is in Central Vietnam, about an hour’s flight from Hanoi.  Our hope, with fingers crossed and knocking like hell on wood, was that the weather would be a touch warmer and sunnier in Hoi An than it had been in Hanoi.

It didn’t work out that way.  It was gray and rained on and off for most of our three weeks there, but that didn’t stop us from having a hell of a time.

We knew going in that Hoi An was a small ‘burg and that there wouldn’t be anywhere close to three weeks of sights to see, but we were ok with that.

Hoi An is spread out over a large area but most of the sights are around the three parallel streets on the river.  The first is on the river and hosts the local market, where you can get anything from a live chicken (or you can have it freshly killed and plucked right before your eyes, if you prefer) to a basket of scrabbling crabs.  A little farther down there is a very nice string of shops and restaurants.

Our Time in Mauritius:  Sunsets and Hospital Visits

The other two streets, which we called “Lantern 1” and “Lantern 2” because we could never remember their actual names, are the streets most tourists come to see.  They’re adorable during the day,  lined with the beautiful but crumbling storefronts of small cafes and boutiques.  But at night the streets are ablaze with thousands of gorgeous Vietnamese lanterns hanging everywhere.  We spent many nights strolling or biking around, shoulder-to-shoulder with other tourists, admiring the warm glow of the lanterns and stopping to munch on delicious banana pancakes.

Our life in Hoi An was delightfully simple.  I worked out regularly at SuperFit Hoi An, which had some weights and a “functional fitness” area, and the staff didn’t frown at me too much when I did my CrossFit thang.  I worked in the morning on my business.  We checked Braeden into a local school for a week until they broke for Tet.  We hung by the pool, biked around town, and found ways to amuse ourselves.

One day we biked to an Aussie deli that had a playground and we enjoyed an hours-long leisurely lunch while Braeden played with some other kids.  On another morning Juliann and I pedaled over to Cam Kim, one of the rural islands where cows outnumber people and the rice paddies stretch on for miles.  We explored for a few hours and then picked up Braeden at school.

One day we decided to stop by a tailor’s shop and have some clothes made.  Juliann picked out a beautiful dress and I had some “dressy” shorts done, which we picked up the next day at about 1/2 of what they would cost in the U.S.  (Juliann still has the dress, I ditched the shorts because I ended up not liking them.  We’re batting .500)

Christmas in Southeast Asia with a 4-Year-Old

Our villa was a short ride to An Bang Beach, so we packed a bag, hopped on our bikes, and took the 20-minute trip to the seaside.  The town on the beach was tiny and undeveloped, and we rode along a dirt road until we found a path that led down to the beach.  There we found two smiling Vietnamese fellows who showed us to a couple of lounge chairs beneath an umbrella on a lovely stretch of sand.  The surf was up that day, and Braeden and I played in the waves, we had lunch, and Juliann and I enjoyed a couple of cold beverages.  I think the whole afternoon cost us around $20 U.S., which is what parking costs at our favorite family beach in Watch Hill, RI.

My birthday happened to fall right in the middle of our stay in Hoi An, so Juliann and Braeden each got me a beautiful card and I enjoyed a quiet, casual birthday.  Braeden also told me that for my birthday he wanted to take me to a water puppet show, so shortly before we left Hoi An we saddled up on our bikes and headed over to the arts center.

The puppets were carefully crafted and the puppeteers were skilled, and I was entertained for the first few minutes.  But the show was aimed more at the kids than the adults, so I spent most of the time watching our son watch the show, transfixed.  This was his third water puppet show and he was delighted to see some of his familiar favorites:  the dragons with sparklers in their mouths, the clumsy yet lovable fisherman, and of course the water buffalo.

At the end of the show he got to say hello to the puppeteers, and a couple of the girls blew him kisses.  He was star struck.

Tet, the Vietnamese New Year celebration, fell right in the middle of our visit, and as Tet approached the activity level in Hoi An ratcheted up a notch.  Families plunked potted fruit trees in front of their homes and swept their sidewalks.  Restaurant owners hung banners and dusted off their lanterns.  City workers installed dozens of Vietnamese flags everywhere and festooned bridges with brightly colored ribbons.

Some of our newly made expat friends advised us that Tet was, in a word, bonkers.  We were informed that during Tet we could expect to hear much more karaoke, see much more gambling, and experience the full drunken force of the holiday.

[Aside:  I haven’t mentioned karaoke yet.  We haven’t been to Japan, but I can’t imagine a culture more in love with karaoke than the Vietnamese.  They love to drop 6-foot amps right on the sidewalk, surround them with chairs and coolers of beer, and sing karaoke at eardrum-bursting volume until late in the night.  And I swear, 90% of the time they sing the same goddamned song on repeat.]

We assumed it would be like a Vietnamese St. Patrick’s Day Parade.

It didn’t turn out quite like that, but much of the town shut down for the days around Tet (we had to get all of our meals at our favorite pub, the Three Dragons, for a day or so because it was the only place open) and it was certainly busier in town.

Traffic, normally at crazy levels with bikes and scooters thronging every intersection, became absurd.  J and I spent a good deal of time in some very interesting traffic jams on our bicycles during Tet.  Not in a car or on scooters, but on our bikes.

I also got sick during our last week in Hoi An.  We ate dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, and at bedtime my stomach started to hurt.  I assumed that something just disagreed with me until I rushed to the bathroom to vomit, at which point I concluded that I finally, after 3+ months in Southeast Asia, statistics had caught up with me and I had food poisoning.

I was up for most of the night making trips to the bathroom, and I spent the entire next day in bed with a fever.  Two days later Braeden vomited, and it suddenly became clear that it was not food poisoning, but a virus.

The boy took it much better than I did.  He wasn’t sick nearly as long and recovered much more quickly, which was good because we were scheduled to fly to Cambodia in 24 hours.

All turned out well, however, and we managed to get ourselves packed and to Da Nang International Airport in plenty of time for our flight to Siem Reap.

It was a rough way to end our time in a country for which we had mixed feelings.  Vietnam was very far from what we’re used to as a Western family, but we had seen so much beauty and been treated with so much kindness that it’s hard now not to think of Vietnam without a sense of nostalgia.

Next:  Cambodia!